Sending This Simple Tinder Message Will Change Your Life

By | February 9, 2016


If you’re struggling on Tinder, or with women in general, then this could be the most important article you’re ever going to read…

Because I’m going to give you one simple message that could change you life.

From being a dateless loner to having 20 dates a month with high quality girls, the thing that literally transformed my life was this message.

And it will do the same for you.

But before I tell you what the message is, we need to talk about you

You thought Tinder would be full of hot girls, fun dates and easy sex.

But right now all you’re thinking about is:

Why am I not getting many matches with the type of girls that I want…. even though I’m a decent looking guy?

Why aren’t girls responding to my messages?

Why can’t I get any interesting conversations going? 

Instead of having fun on Tinder like you’re supposed to, you’re still stuck in first gear trying to figure out what’s going wrong.

The bad news is you’re the reason things aren’t working out. Not Tinder. Not other girls…. You.

The good news: there’s probably just one tiny thing that’s been holding you back…

You have food stuck in your teeth.

What does that mean?

Well, think back to when you’ve seen other people with food in their teeth.

You can’t help but focus on it, can you? It’s such a small thing but it stands out like crazy.

They’re totally unaware that their last snack is on show whenever they smile or talk…. making everyone just a tiny bit repulsed.

In psychology it’s called negativity dominance.

A single cockroach will completely wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries but a cherry will do nothing at all for a bowl of cockroaches.


In simple terms it means “we notice bad more than good”.

Our brains are wired this way because for thousands of years our survival depended on dodging danger. Being super sensitive to negativity kept us alive.

And it’s this negativity dominance – noticing the bad things first and foremost – that’s stopping girls on Tinder from liking you…

You might be a great guy but girls don’t see it (yet)

Here’s the thing: you might be a great guy who’s good looking, interesting and smart, but if there’s just one thing you’re doing wrong then girls on Tinder will notice that bad quality above all else.

  • One bad profile picture can turn thousands of girls away from matching with you
  • A misworded opener will make girls ignore your messages
  • Say the wrong thing in a conversation and you’ll scare a girl away immediately

Sound like some of this stuff might be happening to you?

If girls just seem to stop cold, ignore you altogether out of nowhere, or they never give you a chance to begin with, it might be just one simple thing that’s causing all of this..

Because just like when you have food in your teeth, you’re not aware that you’re being a little bit repulsive, but everyone else can see it straight away.


And although it’s obvious to everyone, girls won’t tell you because they find it too awkward to bring up, or they’ll just avoid you altogether.

So if women are avoiding you for a reason, but no one is brave or helpful enough to come forward and tell why they’re staying away… it raises the question:

How do you find out what your issue is?

It’s a question that’s absolutely critical for your success on Tinder.

Because if you uncover the small thing that’s holding you back, you’ll unlock a key secret to your Tinder success… you’ll be able to break down a barrier that’s preventing girls from being attracted to you.

And not only girls on Tinder… but girls you meet at a bar, girls you meet at work… girls you meet anywhere will be less likely to reject you if you can find out what your issue is.

That’s where this text message comes into play…

The Tinder message that could change your life

This message could change you life, because it changed mine.

From being a dateless loner to having 20 dates a month with high quality girls, the thing that literally transformed my life was this message.

The reason why women avoided me was… you guessed it… I had food in my teeth.

Deep down I wasn’t too different to what I am now, but on the surface I had “a cockroach in my bowl of cherries” that kept girls away.

In fact I had many.

And I still do, but they’re not as big and scary as they were before. Over time I was able to uncover all the these bugs one by one and remove them, with a simple message.

So what’s the message I dedicate my life-transformation to?

Well, I’ll give you an example of it in action…

Example #1: The perfect post-Tinder phone call

A couple of years ago I was speaking with a gorgeous blonde on Tinder called Claire.

I got her number from Tinder and called her that night to organize a date for later in the week, and of course to flirt and build the relationship.

We had an amazing conversation on the phone…She was laughing at everything I said, we shared a lot in common and had sizzling chemistry.

We planned a date for Thursday.

Claire looked like an Instagram model with millions of followers and on top of that was a few years into medical school. She was intelligent and attractive – so you can appreciate how happy I was with myself about securing the date!

I specifically remember hanging up the phone being so excited. I thought to myself:

That was the perfect pre-date phone call – the best one I’ve ever had…. Man, am I good!

I went to bed with a smile on my face, on top of the world.

The next morning I received this text from Claire:



We had just had the best pre-date phone call in the history of Tinder… Then out of nowhere I had been flat-out rejected.

….I had gone from the penthouse to the shithouse in less than 12 hours.

I was clueless as to what happened.

So I did the same thing I’ve always done to become better with women – I sent her the message:


If you were expecting this life-transforming message to be some sort of magical, deeply-hypnotic sentence that can penetrate a girls mind and make her attracted to you… this isn’t it.

Not at all… 

This message is much more powerful than that.

I call it the Mirror Message – it helps you see a true reflection of how you appear to women.

Sometimes in our minds eye we think we look great, but that doesn’t count for anything, does it?

It’s not until we look at ourselves in the mirror that reality kicks in – we realize we have food in our teeth and that’s what girls see when they look at us.


So when a girl rejects me or isn’t interested, instead of getting stressed, anxious and losing confidence wondering what happened, I simply ask why she did what she did… I send her the mirror message and ask her to show me my true reflection, from her perspective.

The Response

The mirror message is friendly and shows I’m not holding any grudges.

Some girls don’t reply, a few will be uncooperative, but the vast majority of girls respond very well and will give an insightful reply.

So after having an amazing phone conversation and locking in a date with gorgeous Claire and being shot-down a few hours later, this is what she had to say after I sent her the mirror message:


The phone conversation that went so well in my mind… didn’t go so well in reality.

But that’s completely okay.

Because via Claire, I was able to look in the mirror and find another piece of food in my teeth – a FANTASTIC result!

Being kept in the dark is scary. The mirror message sheds light on the situation and allows you to move forward.

Not knowing what happened is the worst part of it all when girls disappear. It causes stress, anxiety and is a complete confidence killer.

I think you know what I’m talking about!

If I had never asked I’d still be in the dark as to why Claire didn’t want to meet up. I’d replay the situation over and over in my head, which as you know can be incredibly debilitating.


If I had never asked Claire why, I would have also continued using that same phone conversation method (that I thought worked well) and continued pushing girls away.

But once I uncovered the issue I could correct it and ensure I didn’t make the same mistake again. All with piece of mind and confidence.

The takeaway: You can do the exact same thing – use the mirror message to reveal why things don’t work out for you, understand it from a woman’s perspective and then learn from it.

Any number of things could be your issue:

If you don’t find out what your issue is then the food that’s been stuck in your teeth could unknowingly hold you back for the rest of your life.

Because the truth is, if you’re not aware of your mistakes it’s impossible learn from them, and that means you’ll never improve.

The mirror message can be all it takes pull you out of your rut.

Example #2: Why don’t girls respond to my messages on Tinder?

You’ve been in this position before, so have I, so has every other guy on Tinder.

Most guys are at a loss as to why girls don’t respond to their messages so they get down on themselves and start second guessing everything they say…. which gets them nowhere.

Or worse – it takes them a few steps back.

Instead, I dig down to the root of the problem and move forward.

So should you.

If you’re stressing out wondering why a girl hasn’t replied to your message in over a week, you now know the simple solution…

Ask her!

Send her the mirror message so you can understand her view on the situation. The majority of girls will happily tell you why they didn’t reply to your messages.

What do you say exactly?

Well, here’s the mirror message I use when a girl hasn’t replied to my messages for a while (i.e. more than a week):


Here’s one of the replies I received after using the mirror message – it’s full of gold-nugget-insights that show me my true reflection from a woman’s perspective:


It’s that easy.

Instead of letting the conversation fall into the Tinder abyss and chalking it up as a loss, I used the mirror message to squeeze out valuable intel.

Here’s what I learned about why she didn’t reply:

  1. We were a large distance away from each other = there’s nothing I could do about this so there’s no need to worry. It’s good to know and something to be aware of for next time.
  2. My opener I used was slightly condescending which turned her off a little = small bit of food in my teeth which I can correct and improve for the next time I use it.
  3. My Tinder profile is looking good = confirmation that I’m on the right track.
  4. She showed a lot of interest = this is a good confidence boost.

This type of information is super-valuable when it comes to improving your results on Tinder… and it’s easily available to you whenever you want it, all you need to do is ask.

Here’s another reply which shows the type of insight you’ll get into your Tinder persona:


So what did I learn from this conversation?

  1. She went back to her home city (Adelaide) = once again there’s nothing I could do and I did nothing wrong so there’s no need to worry.
  2. She started talking to another guy from Tinder = It’s an important Tinder lesson for anyone: if you don’t progress a conversation quickly enough, another guy will. Then she’ll throw you to the curb and give him all the attention. Harsh but true.
  3. One of my profile pictures gave her a bad vibe = Another piece of food in my teeth, a cockroach on my bowl of cherries, so I might look at replacing that picture.

Are you starting to see how girls can reveal your true reflection?

Are you starting to see how valuable all this information is?

You can use this message to uncover deep insights into what girls think and feel when they interact with you, then use it to your advantage.

Instead of being confused and lost – instead of being kept totally in the dark – you can shed light on your situation and understand yourself from the perspective of a women.

Now, this personal feedback you will get doesn’t mean you should blindly change who you are. Not at all. It’s not a command you must follow.

It’s about obtaining an awareness of how women see you.

Here’s one more reply to my mirror message:

What can you learn from Monique’s message about why she didn’t reply to my messages?

  1. Some girls are wary about giving out their numbers because of all the weird guys on Tinder = It goes to show that some girls require more trust and rapport than others before you can progress the conversation. But you must also keep in mind what we learned earlier – if you take too long, another guy will grab her attention and she’ll throw you aside.
  2. A girl can like you and enjoy your conversation, but she still might not respond to your Tinder messages = You don’t need to beat yourself up if a girl doesn’t reply.

Point #2 that I just mentioned is an important and common theme that you should be aware of. Here are some more replies that echo the same sentiment:




As you can see, there are also a lot of reasons why girls don’t respond to you, which you’ll easily find out with the mirror message.

But to get the most out of the mirror message, you’ll need to look deeper into the answers they give you.

Looking deeper into your reflection

Tonight you’ll send your mirror messages out and most girls will probably reply back with the same type of feedback that you’ve just read:

I like you. It’s not your fault I didn’t respond, I was just busy.

It will make you feel good, won’t it?… Knowing that girls like you and it’s “not your fault”.

Of course it does.

It’ll make you more confident and assured.

But does that mean you have no food in your teeth?… No cockroaches in your bowl of cherries?

Not necessarily.

Because when you look deeper, the fact that you were worried and stressed she wasn’t responding is an issue.

It probably means that you go into every conversation like that… tentatively… always worried that you’re going to say something wrong, kill the conversation and push girls away.

There’s a perfect name for this – it’s called being a milquetoast (pronounced “milk-toast”):


The word comes from a cartoon character called Casper Milquetoast, from a comic strip called “The Timid Soul”.

Self-doubt is always in the back of your mind which then distorts the way you talk to girls on Tinder, so at times you become Casper Milquetoast because of it.

You still converse with girls, but instead of having free flowing, flirty conversation it quickly becomes dry and stale because you’ve become scared of saying something wrong… your self-doubt has made you become a milquetoast.

Put another way: you’re not being yourself.

You don’t feel comfortable and confident enough to be your interesting-self for fear of making the wrong move, so you default to “safe” conversation:

  • How are you?
  • How was your day?
  • What do you do for work?

…It’s boring conversation.

So when a girl does respond to your messages, you hold a conversation for a while but the conversation eventually dies out because it’s boring.

All of this boring conversation comes from that one fear of making the wrong move.

And you need to be careful because this flaw of yours isn’t something girls will reflect so clearly from the mirror message – it’s your job to look deeper and uncover it yourself.

So I’m afraid to say that sometimes on first glance you’re all-okay, but when you look closer you’ll find that you still have food in your teeth that’s making girls a little repulsed.

The Good News

The good news is that when you start to use the mirror message you’ll receive constant reassurance – girls will literally send you messages that put your worry to rest.

(Keep in mind this is in addition to all of the constructive feedback that you’ll get)

They’ll tell you that the reason they haven’t responded to your messages isn’t because they don’t like you….

You’ll find out that they are interested in you – they have been all along.

And although you have some lingering self-doubts, these uplifting messages will take your mind off that by giving you little boosts of confidence.

And over time the little boosts of confidence will eventually erode away all of your unnecessary self-doubts, so you’ll start to feel comfortable being yourself.

You’ll no longer be scared of girls not responding.

The result?

The food in your teeth will disappear and you’ll no longer be a milquetoast.

You’ll become more confident in yourself and more adventurous in your conversation… You’ll become a more interesting guy, especially on Tinder.

Mirror message templates for you to use

Whether a girl doesn’t respond to your Tinder opener, or you don’t hear from her after your first date, these messages will help you out.

The mirror message has been designed and field tested so girls will feel compelled to respond with honest feedback (I’ve implemented psychological tricks like these and this into the message).

So here are the mirror message templates, customized so you can use them during every step of the seduction process.

If a girl doesn’t reply to your Tinder, send a simple follow up to encourage her to respond. If she doesn’t respond to your follow up, send this:


Based on my experience the emoji in this message makes a big difference so leave it in.

If a girl doesn’t reply to your Tinder messages or text messages in mid-conversation, send this:

This message is exactly the same as the above message aside from the different emoji. You can use either emoji or none at all for this message.


If you have a Tinder date planned but she flakes on you, text her this:


Use the top section in the message if you haven’t texted each other for more than a week so she knows who you are. If you’ve spoken recently you can just start from “This Tinder…”

If you went on a Tinder first date but she doesn’t want to go on a second date, or if she stopped talking to you after the first date, text her this:


Once you start using these templates regularly, two things will happen to you:

  1. You’ll quickly acquire a sizable knowledge-bank of improvement tips and deep insights into the female psyche that are specific to you.
  2. You’ll gain confidence and stop being a milquetoast.

As we’ve discussed, these two benefits on their are priceless.

But there’s also a third effect that you’ll receive…

You’ll find that regularly using the mirror message will change your entire perspective when it comes to attracting women.

The miracle of the mirror message

Once you begin using this message something miraculous will happen: you’ll stop looking at failed Tinder attempts as a dead end – something that gets you down and feeling sorry for yourself.

Instead, you’ll distance yourself from the minor detail and see the bigger picture.

It will represent a turning point where you can let go of the past and focus on a fresh new start.

It will clear away your worry, hand you valuable knowledge and give you true confidence.

You’ll see every girl you talk to as an opportunity to learn, to clear out those cockroaches that are scaring other girls off. You’ll begin to level up and start attracting higher quality girls.

And at first it might hurt to unearth your issues and to realize your shortcomings… but the more you practice it the easier it will become.

Tinder will stop feeling like a war zone where you’re a solider on the front-line being rattled by every explosion, but rather become like a video game where you’re having fun making your way through each level…. and winning princesses along the way.

It’s this frame of mind that will fast-track your seduction development and give you bullet-proof confidence.

After a while you’ll even start to use the mirror message when things are going well for you – because seeing your true reflection at the good times is just as important.

This all means one simple thing: you’re going to grow and improve, instead of remaining stagnant like you’ve been doing up until now.


Before long, the mirror message will transform your Tinder game, yourself and your life to a whole new level.

One more thing…

At the beginning I told you this isn’t some type of magical, deeply-hypnotic message that will penetrate a girl’s mind so she becomes interested in you all of a sudden – remember that?

And do you remember that I told you that this message is much more powerful than that?



When the mirror message helps you pickup a girl that you thought was a write-off… like you just saw… it will almost feel like magic.

But when the mirror message does it’s job and reveals the barrier that’s holding you back… and helps you break it down… then it will literally change the minds of hundreds or even thousands of girls so they’re attracted to you.

I’d definitely say that’s much more powerful than a magical message that changes one girls mind….

Wouldn’t you agree?


Your life can change enormously for the better when you stop wondering why things aren’t working out for you and simply start asking why?

The mirror message will allow you to see yourself from the female perspective and uncover the thing that’s been holding you back… and that may continue to hold you back for the rest of your life if you don’t do anything about it.

Because instead of feeling deflated, instead of feeling useless when things don’t go to plan, you can turn the tables and use it as an opportunity to level up.

Once you start doing that there’ll be no more stress, no more worry.

The mirror message will give you profound insight, boost your confidence and change your entire perspective when it comes to attracting women.

The mirror message will change your life…. all you have to do is ask!


I’ve received a lot of emails from guys who have read this article and used the mirror message for great success, so I thought I’d share a couple of those stories with you.

Here’s one of those emails:

(Click on image to enlarge)


….You’ll never know if you never ask.

Here’s an email from another guy:

(Click on image to enlarge)

tinder-, mirror message, not responding

That guy took a chance and used the mirror message. Some girls didn’t reply, but that’s okay. The result was that 3 out of 5 girls give him some great feedback which is incredibly valuable.

And as well the great feedback he received, he was also able to open up a door to a relationship with an ex-girlfriend he thought was long-gone.

(He later told me he is now dating her again)

Now, these stories show the best possible scenario so don’t expect this kind of result. But remember, getting another shot at a girl is not the main aim of the message anyway.

The main aim of the mirror message is to gain feedback that will help you uncover the frustrating mystery of what went wrong, understand how women perceive you, then use it level up.

If something more comes from it, great! But don’t expect it. Feedback is what you should be seeking – that’s what will boost your confidence and change your entire perspective on meeting women.

As I said before, the mirror message will change your life…. all you have to do is ask!

Want more messages you can use right now to succeed on Tinder? 

Download my cheat sheet of winning Tinder openers that are proven to spark interesting and flirty conversations.


Before you finish with this post and leave forever I just have one small request. As strange as it seems I value feedback in all areas of my life – you seem like a guy who’s not afraid of being honest, so could you leave a comment below and share the thoughts that you had while reading this article… be as brutally honest as you can! ;)

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