First dates can be hard. Especially a first date with someone you met through Tinder or online dating. I know, because I’ve been on lots of them and have had my fair share of fizzlers – awkward silences, strange conversation topics, lack of chemistry and terrible date venues…. I’ve been there.
But over the years I’ve also had lots of amazing dates. The kind of experiences that you’ll remember fondly when you’re 65 years old, sitting on your porch reminiscing about the good old days.
And from my experience, the difference between a date that fizzles and a date that overflows with chemistry comes down to a few simple things. And if you can do these simple things right you’ll be able to create first date memories that last a lifetime… and maybe even start a relationship that will last a lifetime.
So if you’ve followed all the secret Tinder profile tips and developed your Tinder game, you should have a swag of potential Tinder dates – congratulations! Think about all the girls who are excited to meet you – the girls who will spend all their day deliberating on what they’re going to wear on your date to impress YOU, if their personality is interesting and humorous enough, getting butterflies pondering if YOU are going to like THEM! This is what Tinder is all about – being able to create that lustful, excited feeling that everyone craves…. So without further delay, I’m going to tell you how you can enjoy that feeling even more, by having a successful Tinder first date experience that will leave your Tinder target craving more of you!
Setting up the date
This is one of the most important aspects to having a great first date experience. The reason being, the first date effectively begins from when you ask them out (although it is best not to actually ask them). Although the girls won’t specifically remember the pre-date build up, it adds to the overall atmosphere of the date – think of it as the pre-game entertainment before the Super Bowl. It sets the tone for the main event.
There are many different combinations and techniques that work, and to be honest each approach should be tailored specifically to each Tinder target and should reflect your own personality. However I will provide you with a generic template that will be able to be applied to almost any Tinder target.
Bring the date topic into discussion
The suggestion for the date should flow smoothly from conversation, with an air of acceptance that the first date is a given between the two of you and incorporate a hint of humor. It should also create a positive expectation, even if wildly non-realistic and silly. An example is:
Her: (During mid-conversation) “Wow, you’re cheeky”
You: “Don’t get used to it, because we’re going old-school for our first date…
Her: “Haha oh really!?”
You: “I can tell you’re already excited. It’s going to be a gloriously wholesome affair, mixed with bubbling chemistry, intelligent conversation and absurd amounts of flirting… It will be still making your heart flutter when we tell our grand kids about it;)
Her: “It sounds so perfect ;). So Mr… When is this amazing first date?”
Now after first being attracted to your profile pics and like-swiping you, then having a great text-conversation with you, hearing something like this will get her imagination and expectations racing! This is exactly the frame of mind you want her in.
The idea is not to ask for the first date, but plant the idea that it is going to happen. Just incorporate the topic into discussion and explore it as playfully as possible.
Note: the above step should be done via text messaging, as it is the best method to let her mind wonder and also allows you to be precise with your delivery.
Quickly Lock Down Date Logistics – No need to be specific
Unless an obvious date opportunity has arisen (such as watching your baseball teams play each other), setting up the details for the date can be dangerous. Mundane conversations on timing and schedule clashes or what time you finish work or what location is best, are enough to kill any vibe that you’ve built. The way to get around this is to be as vague as possible until a few days before the date (without sounding like a creeper!). Therefore it should go something like this:
(Continuing from above, still via text)
Her: “It sounds so perfect ;). So Mr… When is this amazing first date?”
You: “Well, when are you free for an amazing first date?” (Asking when she’s free and seeing if that works for you is the smoothest and most efficient way to confirm a date. Also repeating “amazing date” again crystallizes the idea in her mind that it’s going to be a great first date and builds expectation…. and expectation is a key ingredient in a successful first date).
Her: “Thursday or Friday evening after work will be best for me :)”
You: “Thursday after work will be perfect. I’ve got to go but I’ll give you a call on Monday night to work out the details… and to make sure you’re not a balding 48 year old man who’s going to take me back to his basement for some “fun” after the date;)”
Adding a semi-comedic comment similar to the above makes light of the stranger-danger fear that is normal with a Tinder first date. A light-hearted approach should put her a little more at ease… it changes her perspective from “I wonder if he is who he says he is” to “Does he really think I could be a 48 year old guy lol” which should minimize her defenses a little. You can then link this comment into the phone conversation.
Then a few days before the date you should give her a call. Since you don’t want to surprise her with a call out of the blue, send her a text beforehand to give her a warning:
You: “I hope that first date A-game of yours is ready for Thursday;) Will give you a call in half an hour to let you know the details”.
Remember these things when making the call:
– She is excited and nervous to meet you. She’s already confirmed she wants to go on a date with you. She is hoping that you are the man of her dreams. Remembering these facts will keep you confident.
– Stand up and smile during the whole call. This is a little trick that has been proven successful and is used by phone marketers – it will automatically put you in a more confident and personable state which will project through the phone.
– You should have the first couple of opening sentences ready in your mind in regards to what you’re going to say to her after she picks up. This keeps you confident that the call will go well and ensures that you are in control of the conversation. An example would be:
You: “Hey there _____. How are you? (Nothing fancy, but remember to speak to her as if you’re buddies and it’s just a normal call)
Her: “Hey, great thanks how are you?” (She’s going to be nervous and excited to speak with you – enjoy the energy!)
You: “I’m fantastic… wow, you sound a little different to what I expected” .
Her: “Really? What did you expect me to sound like?”
You: “I’m not sure, just a little different but that’s ok… at least you don’t sound like a balding 48 year old man that’s going to take me back to his basement!” (Relating back to that original comment you made over text will make you seem witty and also lighten the mood).
Her: “Hahaha… yes, but perhaps I have you fooled”
That type of structure sets the tone for the rest of the call to one that is playful and witty. After this, continue shooting the breeze, enjoy the flirtatious energy and confirm the details of your date.
One More Thing…
Keep the call short! Five to ten minutes max. It is much better to leave her wanting more than exhausting the conversation before you even meet. It also shows that you’re in control. After confirming the details, wrap it up quickly. Here’s a golden line that you can use to conclude your first conversation :
You: “I’m in a bit of a hurry so I have to go… plus, we don’t want to ruin the pre-date magic do we now….” (This gets a giggle every time, I promise!)
Wrap it up and you’re done! Congratulations! You have your first Tinder date locked and loaded… and more importantly, your Tinder target will be even more intrigued with you and what you have to bring to the first date.
Now you don’t want to ruin all that ground work you’ve done and embarrass yourself on the first date… So see Part 2 of how to have a successful Tinder date, where I share every single trick that you can use on Date night!