How to find Tinder girls that are more fun…. Tell them how to act

By | July 27, 2013


If you’re reading this, I can already tell that you’re intelligent and will therefore enjoy this article…

So you’re fed up with coming across boring girls on dating apps like Tinder or HotOrNot?  Well that’s about to change as I will let you in on a psychological phenomenon, a secret which will let you control how people act. If you think you’d benefit from such a valuable piece of information, I suggest that you read on….

In the streets of a small French town was a young girl, her eyes darting here and there. She was obviously new to town and lost. She asked a passer by, a middle aged man, for directions to the Town Cathedral, a well known building. The passer by was nice enough to offer her directions, to which she replied “that’s clear” and briskly walked towards the Cathedral, accidentally dropping her scarf as she departed. The man who she had just spoken to noticed the woman drop the scarf – but, did he go out of his way to hand the scarf back?… Well, that depends largely on the words the lady used to thank the man giving her directions.

The scene here was a psychological experiment conducted by Valerie Fointiat, a French human behaviour researcher. This “lost lady looking for the Cathedral’ was acted out many times, but with one variance – after receiving the requested directions from the stranger, she would reply with the words “that’s clear” or “you’re helpful”. Then they would observe whether the stranger would hand back the scarf that was “accidentally dropped”. Here are the results:

  • “That’s clear” – 75% of people went out of their way to hand the scarf back. This meant 1/4 people didn’t feel bothered she lost her scarf.
  • “You’re helpful” – 90% of people went out of their way to hand the scarf back. The amount of people who didn’t feel bothered she lost the scarf was much lower at 1/10. There was obviously an improvement in the way people acted, based solely on the words that were used.

This evidence which is supported by many other similar studies, shows that people are influenced, at least in in the short term, by how they are perceived by others. The main reason for this is that people generally like to be seen as Consistent. If you’re inconsistent, you’re illogical, flaky and erratic – qualities no one wants. By using this desire to be consistent, you are able to influence people by highlighting how they are perceived.

What does that mean for dating apps like Tinder and HotOrNot? Well, let your Target know from the outset how they are to be consistent in your eyes, how they are to act. For example say you want to have a cheeky, playful chat: after your opener, you should say something similar to “From your profile photos I can tell you’re a fun girl… and even get a sense that you have quite the mischievous side”. If the odds are in your favour, her reply will most likely be something like “haha ;)”.

This certainly isn’t a sure fire way to get Tinder girls to open up and be more fun. But play the odds and you’ll definitely see an improvement. Now one final comment… please use your new powers for good;)

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