Frustrating, isn’t it?
You can be a great guy but still end up without any dates or hookups.
Meanwhile, all the “bad boys” are getting all the girls.
Why is that?
Well there’s one thing you need to consider…
People aren’t always logical.
It seems simple:
You (a good guy) + Tinder = Women desiring to be with you
Of course, if all people were perfect this would be true.
…But that’s not the case. People aren’t perfect.
We all act irrationally at times because of psychological forces we’re unaware of.
Those forces can prevent girls from liking your profile, liking you and hooking up with you.
Once you find out about these psychological forces you’ll immediately recognize what you’re doing wrong on Tinder.
You can then turn the tables and use these psychological Tinder tricks to dominate Tinder – to hook up and date more women that you can imagine.
In this post I’ll show you in detail how you can use four psychological forces to dramatically improve your results on Tinder.
1. Trigger Lust and Desire By Priming Your Tinder Match
Priming is technique used in psychology – it can be an incredibly powerful (and sneaky) way of getting girls on Tinder to do what you want.
Before I explain exactly what Priming is and how it can help you on Tinder, I have two important questions to ask you:
#1. Would you shower and wash before meeting a girl for a Tinder first date?
Keep that answer in mind.
Now the second question…
#2. What’s the first word that comes to mind when you see letters below?
What was the word you came up with?..
You thought the word was soap.
…But why didn’t you think of Soup instead?
Well, the words (wash and shower) and the picture made you think about being clean, showering, washing and smelling nice… which are all soap related thoughts.
This exposure has the effect of putting soap at the forefront of your mind.
If you had seen the word EAT before I asked you what word it was, then soup would have been the first thing you thought of.
What’s at work here is the psychological principle called Priming.
All of us like to think we’re in control of everything that we do, and in a way we are. But we’re also influenced by our environment and experiences without even thinking about it.
There has been significant study into priming, such as the soap vs soup experiment which was conducted in the 1980’s.
Another study asked a group of students to create sentences using specific words: half of the group were asked to create sentences with words relating to the elderly, such as Florida, forgetful, bald, grey and wrinkle. The other half used neutral words.
Once they completed that task, the students were asked to walk down the hallway to the next task… This walking down the hallway was the real experiment.
The students who were exposed to the old age related words walked down the hall much more slowly than the others.
What happened was they were primed for thoughts of old age (even though it was never mentioned). Those thoughts then primed their behaviour – which made them walk slowly down the hallway.
All of this happened without their awareness!
It goes to show that priming can be a powerful tool.
And when it comes to Tinder, priming isn’t an option – it’s essential. Take one look at this Tinder moment and you’ll understand why:
If you can’t prime your Tinder match properly you’re going to be lost in the jungle of other Tinder guys, never to see the light of day.
How to use the priming trick to turn your Tinder matches into dates and hookups:
The biggest takeaway from the priming principle is that you can plant subtle triggers in your Tinder conversations to influence your Tinder match to do what you want (like go on a date or hookup).
Studies have shown that the topics, phrases and words we use can automatically trigger feelings of lust and love.
It shows that simply using a set of scripted routines and phrases can make girls want to hookup and date you.
With that said, priming isn’t a super-power that will let you take over the girl’s mind. It will however let you systematically influence some of their behavior and thoughts in the direction that you want, if you implement it properly.
The Date-talk method is a good example of Priming on Tinder.
In case you’ve never heard of the Date-talk method, it’s a strategic approach to Tinder: rather than waiting until the end of a Tinder conversation to ask for a date (which is what usually happens), you make the date the entire focus of the conversation.
It’s an incredibly successful way to quickly getting what you want – whether it’s a date or hookup.
And it’s success is largely due to the priming principal.
Below is an example of getting your Tinder match to start thinking about meeting up with you (priming her). It can be easily achieved by simply asking her what she’d picture you and her doing when you hangout…
Not only will discussing your date prime your Tinder match, but it can give you the exact date-blueprint that will get you a hookup!
She’ll start to imagine actually meeting up with you, and perhaps, even feel some of the feelings as though she had actually experienced the date she describes.
It’s the same thing as professional athletes who use visualization techniques to help them succeed in sport, the only difference is your Tinder match won’t know that they’re doing it.
…Or should I say, they won’t know that you’re doing it.
If you do it right, the girl will have mentally gone on a date with you before your Tinder conversation has ended.
Even if this thought only happens for a split second in her mind, it will have the effect of framing you in a completely different light.
She’ll no longer think of you as just “one of those Tinder guys”.
Because just like soap example from before, you’ll be much more familiar and fresh in her mind.
You’ll become the guy she’s attracted to and expecting to go on a date with.
Not maybe, not possibly, not there’s a slight chance…
She’ll be expecting and looking forward to meeting up with with you.
…you’ll have her Primed.
2. Use Scarcity to Increase Desire on Tinder
Humans place a higher value on an object that is scarce, and a lower value on those that are abundant.
Simply put, we fear losing stuff and missing out.
So when we see something we cannot have, or might miss out on, it drives us to want that thing even more.
For example, if you live in a place called Richmond like the girl below but happen to be stuck at work, then seeing this Tinder moment come up will be brutal because you’re going to miss out on it!
The biggest companies in the world have long known and abused our irrational reactions to missing out…
When you see while stock lasts, limited time only or sale ends soon you can’t help but feel a sense of urgency to get in before you miss out.
And it works.
But the scarcity principle doesn’t just apply to products, it applies to everything… especially dating and hooking up.
On a Saturday night at a local bar you’ll find most guys drinking with their friends, flirting with a few women and generally having fun.
Then later in the night, closing time approaches.
That’s when every guy that’s single begins to feel the the effects of scarcity.
As some women start to leave, the few remaining women start to look more attractive (and it’s not just because of the beer).
You start to develop a sense of urgency, scurrying to find a woman to pickup before the bar closes and you miss out.
Before you know it you’ve thrown all of your standards out the window and you’re attempting to persuade a 3/10 to go home with you.
It’s called the closing time effect and the psychologically force behind it is scarcity.
I’ve definitely experienced it… and I bet you have as well!
How Scarcity can drag you down on Tinder
With over 10 million active daily users and no “closing time”, you’d think Tinder would be nowhere near a scarce environment.
But for the majority of Tinder users, their actions are largely driven by a scarcity mentality which drags them down.
And if you only have a handful of Tinder matches, then you’re under the influence of scarcity as well.
…You know the girl that you’re chatting with probably has hundreds of matches. You know that she’s chatting with 10 other guys. You know that she’s in the position of power. You know that you’re disposable.
You feel anxious at the thought of losing one of your few matches to another guy on Tinder, which in turn affects the way you approach your conversations.
Scarcity (not many matches) + rivalry (other guys) = A potent source of anxiety and insecurity
Because you’re scared of losing one of the few girls you have, you do one of the following:
- You overwhelm your matches with attention because you think it will convince them of your affection. But this only convinces them of your impatience and insecurity which scares them off.
- You’re overly careful during your conversations, keeping to safe (boring) conversations because you don’t want to blow your chances by saying the wrong thing or coming on too strong. But this only makes your conversations fizzle out.
The effects of scarcity are most likely killing your Tinder game.
But rest assured you can overcome these issues, and quite quickly too.
Option #1 to overcome scarcity – The quick fix: use a Tinder routine.
A good Tinder routine is basically one big copy-and-paste… It’s one of the ultimate Tinder tricks you’ll ever find.
Routines will guide you through a full Tinder conversation word-for-word, meaning none of your insecurities and anxiety will be on show so you won’t smother your matches with attention.
Here’s an example of the a Tinder routine:
Step 1: Send this Tinder moment:
Step: 2 Send the exact same message to every girl who likes your moment:
Step 3: Follow the routine by sending the same messages to every girl…
This routine continues to work on girl after girl after girl (you can check out the rest of the routines here.)
A good Tinder routine will have a high success rate which takes away the fear of failure. Because as you can see it’simply regurgitating the same words over and over that you know will end in success.
But although routine’s are powerful, there are some limitations…
Firstly, great Tinder routines are rare so using one won’t always be an option for you.
Secondly, and possibly most importantly, a routine that you can copy-and-paste will give you immediate success which is great – but it doesn’t solve the deeper issue, which is learning how to talk on Tinder.
Option #2 to overcome scarcity – Learn the right things to say on Tinder
Even if you feel the pressure and anxiety of having limited options, if you learn the right things to say on Tinder then you’ll be able to overcome it.
One of the most important things about your conversations are the topics you talk about.
Studies have shown that the topics most people talk about are too boring to create attraction.
A lot of this stems from the scarcity concept and the anxiety that goes along with it.
The people talking to each other might be interesting, but their conversations are dull because they’re too scared to rock the boat.
“What are you studying?” or “What do you do for work?” are boring questions! They don’t give chemistry any chance of developing.
The study shows topics and questions that are interesting and personally revealing create better interactions.
One of those interesting and personally revealing topics is discussing the story of losing your virginity…
Not every girl will be receptive and open to talking about subjects like losing your virginity.
But most girls like Stacey (above) will find an interesting topic like that refreshing.
Another topic that you can use to consistently create interesting discussions is date-talk, which I told you about earlier.
Option #3 to overcome scarcity – Get more Tinder matches
The third and surest option to escape the pressures of scarcity is to get more Tinder matches.
More matches = more options = no fear of losing or missing out
There are many proven techniques that you can use to get more matches.
For example, including a pet (i.e. puppy) in your profile photos can improve your results by 35%
Using a better camera is also an easy way of getting more matches – digital SLR cameras can make you look more attractive because of their better quality:
And if you can lower the aperture (that means make the backgroung blurry) like the picture below it will make you look more attractive again.
And when it comes to picture selection, getting profile feedback and hearing what people like and don’t like about you specifically, is essential when it comes to optimizing your profile for more matches.
Make sure you’re continuing to improve your profile, because often one small change is all it takes to double or triple your matches.
Eventually, those small changes will lead you to enough matches so that scarcity is no longer an issue for you…
How you can create the perception of scarcity (and use it to your advantage)
Up to this point, I’ve shown how scarcity can drag you down on Tinder and what you can do to prevent it from happening to you.
Now, I’m going to show you two methods of using creating the scarcity effect for your benefit.
Method #1 for using scarcity to your advantage: The false time constraint
As you’ve seen, while stocks last and limited time only are scarcity tactics used by companies all over the world to influence your behavior.
They work because they make you feel rushed into taking action and getting what you want.
On Tinder you can use this exact trick to create pressure to act so that you influence your Tinder match.
You do this by adding a false time constraint to your availability. It works exceptionally well to amplify a girls desire for you, speed up getting a girls number or going on a date..
The false time constraint simply lets your Tinder match know that your time is limited, so she’ll feel more compelled to take action immediately.
The false time constraint in action – Example #1:
I’m sure you’ve been in one of those conversations where the girl just keeps talking and the conversation goes nowhere… well here’s how the false time constraint works:
The girl above (Haylee) obviously showed interest but was stalling by asking a lot of questions. The false time constraint about the battery running out simply gave her a nudge to speed up the process.
If the nudge wasn’t there, this conversation may have gone on for a couple of days and then fizzled out.
The false time constraint in action – Example #2:
Here’s an example where you can use scarcity and the false time constraint to amplify desire that a girl already has for you.
Once again the desire is there and she is interested in meeting up. But “I have some stuff to do, not sure if I can fit a date in” makes her think that she might miss out, which makes her want the ice-cream date (and you) even more.
It’s very subtle and gentle, but creating this sense of scarcity with a false time constraint is often all it takes to get a girls number quickly and to increase her desire for you.
Method #2: The false take away
The false takeaway is similar to the false time constraint, although it’s more dramatic.
The false time constraint (method #1) = “I have to go soon, so hurry up”.
However the false takeaway goes one step further:
The false takeaway = “If you don’t act now, you’ll miss out on me forever”.
This Tinder trick has the ability to create a lot of scarcity pressure and influence your Tinder match to comply with your requests.
However, there are a couple things to consider when using it…
- Firstly, the false takeaway will only work if the girl has already shown some interest in you. This method doesn’t create desire from thin air, it works by amplifying the desire that’s already there.
- Secondly, because it’s a dramatic move it should only be used sparingly.
The perfect time to use the false takeaway is when:
- you’ve been having a good conversation,
- you know the girl is at least slightly interested in you, then all of sudden she starts playing games like she’s not interested (these are known as shit tests).
The false takeaway in action:
Kristy (below) was showing signs that she was interested, then all of a sudden she started acting really entitled and prissy by saying “Who says we’re going on a date?” and “No, you’ll have to do better than that”.
This immediate change from friendly attitude earlier to a superior/prissy attitude is a subconscious thing that some girls do to test you and see what you’re made of.
Rather than reacting by begging her or saying sorry, which a lot of guys do, I used the false takeaway (“we’ve lived, we’ve laughed..”) to demonstrate scarcity:
I’ve pretty much said “Ok, well if you’re going to be a bitch I’ll see you later”
Note: As you can see the false takeaway isn’t delivered in a mean or negative tone. It works best when it’s relaxed and friendly.
What was her response to the false takeaway?…
She replied with “You’re silly”. That’s a sign that the false takeaway worked. She’s no longer acting negative and superior – the tables are turning.
The “You smell” comment is playful (and immature), but it still has some signs of negativity so I sent her another false-takeaway message… Let’s see what happens:
(That message is a special line from our TINSANITY Tinder Seduction System so I can’t show it here. All I can tell you is it calls her an interesting name).
“You are so rude!”….The TINSANITY false takeaway line really stirred her up – what happens next?
In just a few messages her attitude changed from the negative “Who says we’re going on a date? You’ll have to do better than that” to the very interested “What are you doing Thursday night”.
That’s a massive swing from “you don’t have much of a chance with me” to “I’m interested in you”.
That’s the power of scarcity.
And when you have the power of scarcity on your side, everything else comes easily…
Scarcity is a powerful psychological force that can drag you down on Tinder, if you let it.
But if you can harness that power for yourself it will boost your Tinder results significantly.
3. Use the Halo effect to hook up with angels
Attractive people have better personalities than average looking people, right?
No, of course they don’t.
And yet most people, when asked to rate someone’s personality based on looks, will almost always rate attractive people as having the best personalities.
I’m sure you’ve seen it happen it real life…
A girl who’s obsessed with a good looking guy will think he has a “great personality”… but you know that guy, and he’s a complete asshole.
This is a bias that we all have naturally and unconsciously, called the Halo effect.
It’s where you take one aspect of somebody (like their physical appearance) and project it to their overall character.
This means that when you see someone who’s good looking, you’re likely to think that they’re friendly and smart.
And on the flip side, when you see someone who’s ugly, you’re likely to think that they’re rude and dumb.
Tinder is also proof of the Halo effect – it’s incredibly easy for beautiful people.
Just as the Tinder experiment with the male model confirmed, women will respond well to anything a good looking guy says:
Here’s the profile of the good looking guy from the experiment:
And here’s a few of the things he got away with saying:
There were literally no limits to what he could get away with.
…If an average looking guy said these things the results would be very different – he’d be viewed as a creep.
OkCupid (the online dating site) performed an experiment that demonstrated the halo effect perfectly.
They asked their users to rate other user’s “personality” and also their “attractiveness” based only off of one photo.
The results were astonishing…
(each red dot is a person who has been rated by other users)
According to the user ratings, “looks” and “personality” were the same thing:
high looks rating = users thought their personality was great
low looks rating = users thought their personality was poor
The halo effect is powerful, but we’re not all male models who can rely on our looks to make our personalities look good.
So how can the halo effect help us mere mortals when it comes to Tinder?…
How to use the halo effect to make you look good on Tinder (even if you’re not a male model)
If you remember, the halo effect makes people notice one small characteristic, then automatically projects that characteristic onto their whole personality.
…As we already know:
good looking guys = women are more likely to think that guy has a great personality.
But it also works in other ways, such as first impressions.
A good first impression of someone will make us think they’re generally a nice and friendly person… even if they have an outburst later on, we’ll tend to ignore it as a one off because first impressions last quite a while.
And on the flip side, if we meet someone for the first time who’s in a bad mood, it’ll make us think that they’re just a rude person… even if they’re nice, we’ll still have that first impression sitting in the back of our heads telling us that they’re rude.
Studies have shown that job interviews are often decided within first 15 seconds. It’s just one of the many ways that us humans tend to judge a person very quickly, and hold that judgment for a long time.
Tinder is no exception. The first impression (the opener that you use) is key to a good Tinder conversation.
Send an interesting and funny first message = the girl will be more likely to think your whole conversation is funny
Send a boring or terrible first message = the girl will think you’re boring and have no personality (or block you).
That first opener is make it or break it, so you need to know how to start a Tinder conversation properly.
4. Frame your way to meeting more women on Tinder
Framing is another cognitive bias that makes people react to a particular choice in different ways depending on how it’s presented.
For example, if you saw an advertisement for a yogurt product and it said 90% Fat Free, then you’d think it sounds ok.
But if you saw an advertisement for another yogurt product and it said 10% Fat, then you’d probably think it doesn’t sound that great.
They are both exactly the same yogurt: 90% fat free content +10% fat content = 100% the same yogurt
But although although both choices are the same, you gravitate toward one option more than the other because of how it’s worded.
This gravitation toward one of those choices is because of framing.
Framing allows you to nudge a person (or many people) toward an option you want them to choose, simply by changing the descriptions that are used.
Framing and choice architecture are such powerful techniques that the White House has developed a “Nudge Unit” which uses framing as a way to influence the public to make better decisions.
How you can implement framing on Tinder to meet more women
There are two main choices women make when they use Tinder.
Firstly, they see your profile in the Tinder stack and think…
1. Would I like to match with this guy? Yes or no?
and then after matching and chatting with you, they decide…
2. Do I want to meet up with this guy? Yes or no?
Now the first choice is decided by your profile photos which framing can’t help you out with very much.
But the second choice, about whether or not to meet up with you, can be “nudged” by using a framing technique called the default effect.
To understand how the default effect works (and how to use it) it’s useful to see it in action.
Below is a report about organ donation – it shows the percentage of people who are willing to donate their organs once they pass away:
As you can see there are massive differences between the countries that donate a lot (blue) and countries that donate little (orange).
Why is there such a difference?
Some people speculate that it’s due to cultural or religious differences between countries, but the answer is much more simple.
It turns out that the reason for the difference is the form at the DMV office:
- In countries that have “opt-in” forms (check box to donate), people don’t check the boxes and as a result don’t donate.
- In countries that have “opt-out” forms (check box if you don’t want to donate), people also don’t check the boxes, and as a result they’re automatically enrolled as participants.
The default effect can influence behavior massively.
Now, back to Tinder and the choice that girls make when thinking about “Do you want to meet up with this guy?”
The opt-in approach to meeting girls on Tinder
Most guys take the “opt-in” approach when it comes to getting a Tinder match to meet up with them.
Their conversations and their questions are framed in such a way that the girl has to consciously question whether she wants to go on a date…
Sure this approach will be successful if the girl is into you… but you won’t be maximizing your results.
It’s the same as the “opt-in” on the DMV forms: the person making the choice is forced to mentally tick a box if they want to meet up. There will be some people who say yes, but there will be a lot more who default to no.
So if you’re wondering why women never decide to go on a date with you, one of the reasons might be that the default answer you’re giving them (the one that’s easier) is a “no”.
The opt-out approach to Tinder
The alternative and much more successful approach is to use the “opt-out” method which is: assume you’re both going to meet up eventually, unless she says otherwise.
The opt-out method frames the conversations so that meeting up is a given – it’s expected, it’s automatic:
The easy choice (the default choice) is to go along with that assumption, so the answer is more likely to be yes.
Plus, keep in mind that Tinder is for meeting meeting people and that the girl has already liked your profile… it makes sense that you frame your conversation so that the default view is “we’re going to meet up”.
You’re probably wondering what’s the best way of using framing and the default effect to meet up with more Tinder girls… the solution is date talk.
People don’t always act logically which is why it’s important to be aware of psychology on Tinder.
Psychological forces can drag you down if you’re not careful, but they can also be your secret weapon if you know how to use them properly.
These Tinder tricks driven by the four psychological principles I’ve shown you in this post are essential to sustained success on Tinder, but be aware that they’re only the tip of the iceberg.
To enjoy the power of all these psychological forces on Tinder (without even trying), you can follow our easy Tinder Seduction System full of Tinder tricks that will immediately turn you into a psychological weapon!