Sending This Simple Tinder Message Will Change Your Life

By | February 9, 2016


If you’re struggling on Tinder, or with women in general, then this could be the most important article you’re ever going to read…

Because I’m going to give you one simple message that could change you life.

From being a dateless loner to having 20 dates a month with high quality girls, the thing that literally transformed my life was this message.

And it will do the same for you.

But before I tell you what the message is, we need to talk about you

You thought Tinder would be full of hot girls, fun dates and easy sex.

But right now all you’re thinking about is:

Why am I not getting many matches with the type of girls that I want…. even though I’m a decent looking guy?

Why aren’t girls responding to my messages?

Why can’t I get any interesting conversations going? 

Instead of having fun on Tinder like you’re supposed to, you’re still stuck in first gear trying to figure out what’s going wrong.

The bad news is you’re the reason things aren’t working out. Not Tinder. Not other girls…. You.

The good news: there’s probably just one tiny thing that’s been holding you back…

You have food stuck in your teeth.

What does that mean?

Well, think back to when you’ve seen other people with food in their teeth.

You can’t help but focus on it, can you? It’s such a small thing but it stands out like crazy.

They’re totally unaware that their last snack is on show whenever they smile or talk…. making everyone just a tiny bit repulsed.

In psychology it’s called negativity dominance.

A single cockroach will completely wreck the appeal of a bowl of cherries but a cherry will do nothing at all for a bowl of cockroaches.


In simple terms it means “we notice bad more than good”.

Our brains are wired this way because for thousands of years our survival depended on dodging danger. Being super sensitive to negativity kept us alive.

And it’s this negativity dominance – noticing the bad things first and foremost – that’s stopping girls on Tinder from liking you…

You might be a great guy but girls don’t see it (yet)

Here’s the thing: you might be a great guy who’s good looking, interesting and smart, but if there’s just one thing you’re doing wrong then girls on Tinder will notice that bad quality above all else.

  • One bad profile picture can turn thousands of girls away from matching with you
  • A misworded opener will make girls ignore your messages
  • Say the wrong thing in a conversation and you’ll scare a girl away immediately

Sound like some of this stuff might be happening to you?

If girls just seem to stop cold, ignore you altogether out of nowhere, or they never give you a chance to begin with, it might be just one simple thing that’s causing all of this..

Because just like when you have food in your teeth, you’re not aware that you’re being a little bit repulsive, but everyone else can see it straight away.


And although it’s obvious to everyone, girls won’t tell you because they find it too awkward to bring up, or they’ll just avoid you altogether.

So if women are avoiding you for a reason, but no one is brave or helpful enough to come forward and tell why they’re staying away… it raises the question:

How do you find out what your issue is?

It’s a question that’s absolutely critical for your success on Tinder.

Because if you uncover the small thing that’s holding you back, you’ll unlock a key secret to your Tinder success… you’ll be able to break down a barrier that’s preventing girls from being attracted to you.

And not only girls on Tinder… but girls you meet at a bar, girls you meet at work… girls you meet anywhere will be less likely to reject you if you can find out what your issue is.

That’s where this text message comes into play…

The Tinder message that could change your life

This message could change you life, because it changed mine.

From being a dateless loner to having 20 dates a month with high quality girls, the thing that literally transformed my life was this message.

The reason why women avoided me was… you guessed it… I had food in my teeth.

Deep down I wasn’t too different to what I am now, but on the surface I had “a cockroach in my bowl of cherries” that kept girls away.

In fact I had many.

And I still do, but they’re not as big and scary as they were before. Over time I was able to uncover all the these bugs one by one and remove them, with a simple message.

So what’s the message I dedicate my life-transformation to?

Well, I’ll give you an example of it in action…

Example #1: The perfect post-Tinder phone call

A couple of years ago I was speaking with a gorgeous blonde on Tinder called Claire.

I got her number from Tinder and called her that night to organize a date for later in the week, and of course to flirt and build the relationship.

We had an amazing conversation on the phone…She was laughing at everything I said, we shared a lot in common and had sizzling chemistry.

We planned a date for Thursday.

Claire looked like an Instagram model with millions of followers and on top of that was a few years into medical school. She was intelligent and attractive – so you can appreciate how happy I was with myself about securing the date!

I specifically remember hanging up the phone being so excited. I thought to myself:

That was the perfect pre-date phone call – the best one I’ve ever had…. Man, am I good!

I went to bed with a smile on my face, on top of the world.

The next morning I received this text from Claire:



We had just had the best pre-date phone call in the history of Tinder… Then out of nowhere I had been flat-out rejected.

….I had gone from the penthouse to the shithouse in less than 12 hours.

I was clueless as to what happened.

So I did the same thing I’ve always done to become better with women – I sent her the message:


If you were expecting this life-transforming message to be some sort of magical, deeply-hypnotic sentence that can penetrate a girls mind and make her attracted to you… this isn’t it.

Not at all… 

This message is much more powerful than that.

I call it the Mirror Message – it helps you see a true reflection of how you appear to women.

Sometimes in our minds eye we think we look great, but that doesn’t count for anything, does it?

It’s not until we look at ourselves in the mirror that reality kicks in – we realize we have food in our teeth and that’s what girls see when they look at us.


So when a girl rejects me or isn’t interested, instead of getting stressed, anxious and losing confidence wondering what happened, I simply ask why she did what she did… I send her the mirror message and ask her to show me my true reflection, from her perspective.

The Response

The mirror message is friendly and shows I’m not holding any grudges.

Some girls don’t reply, a few will be uncooperative, but the vast majority of girls respond very well and will give an insightful reply.

So after having an amazing phone conversation and locking in a date with gorgeous Claire and being shot-down a few hours later, this is what she had to say after I sent her the mirror message:


The phone conversation that went so well in my mind… didn’t go so well in reality.

But that’s completely okay.

Because via Claire, I was able to look in the mirror and find another piece of food in my teeth – a FANTASTIC result!

Being kept in the dark is scary. The mirror message sheds light on the situation and allows you to move forward.

Not knowing what happened is the worst part of it all when girls disappear. It causes stress, anxiety and is a complete confidence killer.

I think you know what I’m talking about!

If I had never asked I’d still be in the dark as to why Claire didn’t want to meet up. I’d replay the situation over and over in my head, which as you know can be incredibly debilitating.


If I had never asked Claire why, I would have also continued using that same phone conversation method (that I thought worked well) and continued pushing girls away.

But once I uncovered the issue I could correct it and ensure I didn’t make the same mistake again. All with piece of mind and confidence.

The takeaway: You can do the exact same thing – use the mirror message to reveal why things don’t work out for you, understand it from a woman’s perspective and then learn from it.

Any number of things could be your issue:

If you don’t find out what your issue is then the food that’s been stuck in your teeth could unknowingly hold you back for the rest of your life.

Because the truth is, if you’re not aware of your mistakes it’s impossible learn from them, and that means you’ll never improve.

The mirror message can be all it takes pull you out of your rut.

Example #2: Why don’t girls respond to my messages on Tinder?

You’ve been in this position before, so have I, so has every other guy on Tinder.

Most guys are at a loss as to why girls don’t respond to their messages so they get down on themselves and start second guessing everything they say…. which gets them nowhere.

Or worse – it takes them a few steps back.

Instead, I dig down to the root of the problem and move forward.

So should you.

If you’re stressing out wondering why a girl hasn’t replied to your message in over a week, you now know the simple solution…

Ask her!

Send her the mirror message so you can understand her view on the situation. The majority of girls will happily tell you why they didn’t reply to your messages.

What do you say exactly?

Well, here’s the mirror message I use when a girl hasn’t replied to my messages for a while (i.e. more than a week):


Here’s one of the replies I received after using the mirror message – it’s full of gold-nugget-insights that show me my true reflection from a woman’s perspective:


It’s that easy.

Instead of letting the conversation fall into the Tinder abyss and chalking it up as a loss, I used the mirror message to squeeze out valuable intel.

Here’s what I learned about why she didn’t reply:

  1. We were a large distance away from each other = there’s nothing I could do about this so there’s no need to worry. It’s good to know and something to be aware of for next time.
  2. My opener I used was slightly condescending which turned her off a little = small bit of food in my teeth which I can correct and improve for the next time I use it.
  3. My Tinder profile is looking good = confirmation that I’m on the right track.
  4. She showed a lot of interest = this is a good confidence boost.

This type of information is super-valuable when it comes to improving your results on Tinder… and it’s easily available to you whenever you want it, all you need to do is ask.

Here’s another reply which shows the type of insight you’ll get into your Tinder persona:


So what did I learn from this conversation?

  1. She went back to her home city (Adelaide) = once again there’s nothing I could do and I did nothing wrong so there’s no need to worry.
  2. She started talking to another guy from Tinder = It’s an important Tinder lesson for anyone: if you don’t progress a conversation quickly enough, another guy will. Then she’ll throw you to the curb and give him all the attention. Harsh but true.
  3. One of my profile pictures gave her a bad vibe = Another piece of food in my teeth, a cockroach on my bowl of cherries, so I might look at replacing that picture.

Are you starting to see how girls can reveal your true reflection?

Are you starting to see how valuable all this information is?

You can use this message to uncover deep insights into what girls think and feel when they interact with you, then use it to your advantage.

Instead of being confused and lost – instead of being kept totally in the dark – you can shed light on your situation and understand yourself from the perspective of a women.

Now, this personal feedback you will get doesn’t mean you should blindly change who you are. Not at all. It’s not a command you must follow.

It’s about obtaining an awareness of how women see you.

Here’s one more reply to my mirror message:

What can you learn from Monique’s message about why she didn’t reply to my messages?

  1. Some girls are wary about giving out their numbers because of all the weird guys on Tinder = It goes to show that some girls require more trust and rapport than others before you can progress the conversation. But you must also keep in mind what we learned earlier – if you take too long, another guy will grab her attention and she’ll throw you aside.
  2. A girl can like you and enjoy your conversation, but she still might not respond to your Tinder messages = You don’t need to beat yourself up if a girl doesn’t reply.

Point #2 that I just mentioned is an important and common theme that you should be aware of. Here are some more replies that echo the same sentiment:




As you can see, there are also a lot of reasons why girls don’t respond to you, which you’ll easily find out with the mirror message.

But to get the most out of the mirror message, you’ll need to look deeper into the answers they give you.

Looking deeper into your reflection

Tonight you’ll send your mirror messages out and most girls will probably reply back with the same type of feedback that you’ve just read:

I like you. It’s not your fault I didn’t respond, I was just busy.

It will make you feel good, won’t it?… Knowing that girls like you and it’s “not your fault”.

Of course it does.

It’ll make you more confident and assured.

But does that mean you have no food in your teeth?… No cockroaches in your bowl of cherries?

Not necessarily.

Because when you look deeper, the fact that you were worried and stressed she wasn’t responding is an issue.

It probably means that you go into every conversation like that… tentatively… always worried that you’re going to say something wrong, kill the conversation and push girls away.

There’s a perfect name for this – it’s called being a milquetoast (pronounced “milk-toast”):


The word comes from a cartoon character called Casper Milquetoast, from a comic strip called “The Timid Soul”.

Self-doubt is always in the back of your mind which then distorts the way you talk to girls on Tinder, so at times you become Casper Milquetoast because of it.

You still converse with girls, but instead of having free flowing, flirty conversation it quickly becomes dry and stale because you’ve become scared of saying something wrong… your self-doubt has made you become a milquetoast.

Put another way: you’re not being yourself.

You don’t feel comfortable and confident enough to be your interesting-self for fear of making the wrong move, so you default to “safe” conversation:

  • How are you?
  • How was your day?
  • What do you do for work?

…It’s boring conversation.

So when a girl does respond to your messages, you hold a conversation for a while but the conversation eventually dies out because it’s boring.

All of this boring conversation comes from that one fear of making the wrong move.

And you need to be careful because this flaw of yours isn’t something girls will reflect so clearly from the mirror message – it’s your job to look deeper and uncover it yourself.

So I’m afraid to say that sometimes on first glance you’re all-okay, but when you look closer you’ll find that you still have food in your teeth that’s making girls a little repulsed.

The Good News

The good news is that when you start to use the mirror message you’ll receive constant reassurance – girls will literally send you messages that put your worry to rest.

(Keep in mind this is in addition to all of the constructive feedback that you’ll get)

They’ll tell you that the reason they haven’t responded to your messages isn’t because they don’t like you….

You’ll find out that they are interested in you – they have been all along.

And although you have some lingering self-doubts, these uplifting messages will take your mind off that by giving you little boosts of confidence.

And over time the little boosts of confidence will eventually erode away all of your unnecessary self-doubts, so you’ll start to feel comfortable being yourself.

You’ll no longer be scared of girls not responding.

The result?

The food in your teeth will disappear and you’ll no longer be a milquetoast.

You’ll become more confident in yourself and more adventurous in your conversation… You’ll become a more interesting guy, especially on Tinder.

Mirror message templates for you to use

Whether a girl doesn’t respond to your Tinder opener, or you don’t hear from her after your first date, these messages will help you out.

The mirror message has been designed and field tested so girls will feel compelled to respond with honest feedback (I’ve implemented psychological tricks like these and this into the message).

So here are the mirror message templates, customized so you can use them during every step of the seduction process.

If a girl doesn’t reply to your Tinder, send a simple follow up to encourage her to respond. If she doesn’t respond to your follow up, send this:


Based on my experience the emoji in this message makes a big difference so leave it in.

If a girl doesn’t reply to your Tinder messages or text messages in mid-conversation, send this:

This message is exactly the same as the above message aside from the different emoji. You can use either emoji or none at all for this message.


If you have a Tinder date planned but she flakes on you, text her this:


Use the top section in the message if you haven’t texted each other for more than a week so she knows who you are. If you’ve spoken recently you can just start from “This Tinder…”

If you went on a Tinder first date but she doesn’t want to go on a second date, or if she stopped talking to you after the first date, text her this:


Once you start using these templates regularly, two things will happen to you:

  1. You’ll quickly acquire a sizable knowledge-bank of improvement tips and deep insights into the female psyche that are specific to you.
  2. You’ll gain confidence and stop being a milquetoast.

As we’ve discussed, these two benefits on their are priceless.

But there’s also a third effect that you’ll receive…

You’ll find that regularly using the mirror message will change your entire perspective when it comes to attracting women.

The miracle of the mirror message

Once you begin using this message something miraculous will happen: you’ll stop looking at failed Tinder attempts as a dead end – something that gets you down and feeling sorry for yourself.

Instead, you’ll distance yourself from the minor detail and see the bigger picture.

It will represent a turning point where you can let go of the past and focus on a fresh new start.

It will clear away your worry, hand you valuable knowledge and give you true confidence.

You’ll see every girl you talk to as an opportunity to learn, to clear out those cockroaches that are scaring other girls off. You’ll begin to level up and start attracting higher quality girls.

And at first it might hurt to unearth your issues and to realize your shortcomings… but the more you practice it the easier it will become.

Tinder will stop feeling like a war zone where you’re a solider on the front-line being rattled by every explosion, but rather become like a video game where you’re having fun making your way through each level…. and winning princesses along the way.

It’s this frame of mind that will fast-track your seduction development and give you bullet-proof confidence.

After a while you’ll even start to use the mirror message when things are going well for you – because seeing your true reflection at the good times is just as important.

This all means one simple thing: you’re going to grow and improve, instead of remaining stagnant like you’ve been doing up until now.


Before long, the mirror message will transform your Tinder game, yourself and your life to a whole new level.

One more thing…

At the beginning I told you this isn’t some type of magical, deeply-hypnotic message that will penetrate a girl’s mind so she becomes interested in you all of a sudden – remember that?

And do you remember that I told you that this message is much more powerful than that?



When the mirror message helps you pickup a girl that you thought was a write-off… like you just saw… it will almost feel like magic.

But when the mirror message does it’s job and reveals the barrier that’s holding you back… and helps you break it down… then it will literally change the minds of hundreds or even thousands of girls so they’re attracted to you.

I’d definitely say that’s much more powerful than a magical message that changes one girls mind….

Wouldn’t you agree?


Your life can change enormously for the better when you stop wondering why things aren’t working out for you and simply start asking why?

The mirror message will allow you to see yourself from the female perspective and uncover the thing that’s been holding you back… and that may continue to hold you back for the rest of your life if you don’t do anything about it.

Because instead of feeling deflated, instead of feeling useless when things don’t go to plan, you can turn the tables and use it as an opportunity to level up.

Once you start doing that there’ll be no more stress, no more worry.

The mirror message will give you profound insight, boost your confidence and change your entire perspective when it comes to attracting women.

The mirror message will change your life…. all you have to do is ask!


I’ve received a lot of emails from guys who have read this article and used the mirror message for great success, so I thought I’d share a couple of those stories with you.

Here’s one of those emails:

(Click on image to enlarge)


….You’ll never know if you never ask.

Here’s an email from another guy:

(Click on image to enlarge)

tinder-, mirror message, not responding

That guy took a chance and used the mirror message. Some girls didn’t reply, but that’s okay. The result was that 3 out of 5 girls give him some great feedback which is incredibly valuable.

And as well the great feedback he received, he was also able to open up a door to a relationship with an ex-girlfriend he thought was long-gone.

(He later told me he is now dating her again)

Now, these stories show the best possible scenario so don’t expect this kind of result. But remember, getting another shot at a girl is not the main aim of the message anyway.

The main aim of the mirror message is to gain feedback that will help you uncover the frustrating mystery of what went wrong, understand how women perceive you, then use it level up.

If something more comes from it, great! But don’t expect it. Feedback is what you should be seeking – that’s what will boost your confidence and change your entire perspective on meeting women.

As I said before, the mirror message will change your life…. all you have to do is ask!

Want more messages you can use right now to succeed on Tinder? 

Download my cheat sheet of winning Tinder openers that are proven to spark interesting and flirty conversations.


Before you finish with this post and leave forever I just have one small request. As strange as it seems I value feedback in all areas of my life – you seem like a guy who’s not afraid of being honest, so could you leave a comment below and share the thoughts that you had while reading this article… be as brutally honest as you can! ;)

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  • Evan

    Very interesting article. First time I have ever thought about asking what went wrong after failing. Will start using this text from now.

    • Evan, the first time you use the mirror message you’ll be amazed at the information girls will give you…. After you’ve used it 50 times, you’ll be amazed at the transformation you’ve made because of it.

  • Greg

    Either I’m just caught yup on a positive response for girls, I forgot to even ask this. Maybe it’s my ego still crushing it even over dating apps. I used to do this long time ago. However , what great timing to remember to use this. Tremendous article 👍🏼👍🏼

    • Greg, glad that you found it useful. You’re so right – it’s interesting that the ego (which wants success and reinforcement) can actually get in the way of your success.

      Having that “continuous-improvement” mindset like the mirror message represents is what makes people great at something in the first place… so you’ll find that people who are at the top of the game (like sports pro’s, academics, business owners) still do it even though they’ve already reached the highest levels.

  • Johan

    Fantastic post Marcus. Love the concept as it can be applied to so many parts of life.

    • Johan, having that “continuous-improvement” mindset like the mirror message represents is what makes people great at something. You’ll notice that this mindset is a built-in-habit for those who are at the top of the game in any pursuit (like sports pro’s, academics, business owners etc).

  • Sincerity

    This article was probably the most eye opening on your entire site. Good job I will start using this from now on

    • That’s great Sincerity, “eye opening” is exactly what this article is about. Once you start using the mirror message you’ll be amazed at what you’ve been missing all this time…and how beneficial that knowledge can be for you.

      Thanks for your honest feedback :) I really appreciate it.

  • OutOfCuriosity

    What if you haven’t started the conversation yet? I don’t feel like pick-up lines are the best conversation starters. The outcome varies too much. And what comes after the pick-up line? I have this “out of my league” girl I haven’t contacted yet. Just want her opinion.

    • OutOfCuriosity, I’m not really sure what you’re asking. What do you want her opinion on before you have even spoken with her? Why not start talking to her and organize a date – if she goes for it, great. If not, then you can send her the mirror message.

  • Shaku

    Great article! I was always thinking to ask for a feedback, but never had a courage to try. Also because I was thinking they would not bother to reply. I will try it now. But I have one question to you: my english and vocabulary is much more poor, I mean my usual language is not that expressive as the one used in your template, so it feels awkward to send it that way as it doesn’t sound like me. What do you think does it still make sense to send it just as it is or it’s better to simplify it as I would write it myself.

    • Shaku, the responses you receive after asking for feedback will often exceed your expectations – I’m glad to hear you’re going to try it from now on :)

      It’s completely okay to change the wording in the mirror message to suit you. As long as you’re asking for feedback in a polite way you’ll be fine.

  • G man

    Marcus, Great post! I am going to try this. I was thinking today how I could improve as I was getting frustrated. Timing!

    On another note….

    I find the young hot girls (18-24) are difficult to get out on a date. I don’t use social media alot (if at all) and was wondering if this could be a barrier. (all the young girls I know are social media feins like spend all day on it) Do you think getting them on Facebook and Instagram (a few ask for mine) would build better rapport? How have you gone with the younger girls?

    Cheers G

    • That’s great G man, I’m sure you’ll get some helpful feedback by using the mirror message regularly.

      The fact that you’re not on social media shouldn’t be a barrier at all – getting a girl’s number (or swapping numbers) is often a much better approach which will allow you to build a stronger rapport compared to chatting on Facebook or Instagram.


  • Grey

    Sites and blogs like this usually focus on strategies that produce positive outcomes rather than highlighting how to handle the moment when things don’t. More often than not, I’ve found that interactions with women don’t align with my expectations; sometimes I’m pleasantly surprised, but most of the time I’m left disappointed wondering what went wrong and what I could have done differently. It takes courage to talk about your failures but we have the opportunity to learn so much from them. I really appreciate you putting this article up, so often I get caught up in the idea that I’m the only one out there running into difficulty.

    • Really well said Grey, thanks for your insightful comment. Difficulty and failure is a part of the game for most guys – we’re all in the same boat, but like you said with a little courage we can use those experiences to learn from and improve for the future, rather than writing them off as a waste.

  • Jason Revelation

    If a woman can’t accept me 100% for who I am (just as I would do the same) then she doesn’t need to be in my life, period. Not even worth dinner. I shouldn’t have to worry about saying the right things at the right times, what I wear, and on and on, especially if she doesn’t have to. Me and my life are fucking awesome as-is. I work diligently every single day to continually be the best version of myself I can be. You can come along for the ride or step aside/swipe left. The prevailing impression I get from dating world is guys must always be successful and secure, confident, witty, intelligent, strong and dominant but still compassionate and patient, fit and attractive, have refined style, yet all a woman has to do is throw on a hot outfit and show up to be swept away into the sunset. Sorry, but we’re on a two way street here.

    • Noah


      Don’t change who you are because girls on Tinder aren’t responding.

      Good grief.

    • Antonio Craveiro

      How do you know you continue to be the best version of yourself without feedback? You can be working in the wrong direction.

      • BuffoonDaddy

        If you need feedback to discern whether or not you are operating at an optimal level or not, you lack empathy, rudimentary social interaction skills, and a moral compass.

      • Jason Revelation

        Evidence based. I lost weight and toned up. Got a great high paying job. Have friends calling me to hang out all the time. Made the conscious decision to be and feel naturally positive and happy.

        • Antonio Craveiro

          It’s harder to see the evidence when you are alone. Never heard of people lying to themselves? Like fat people saying they eat little and healthy. Or poor people say they work a lot and success is mostly luck?

          • BUGHUNTER6 .

            Why should a guy have to dedicate himself to changing into someone a particular girl would approve of rather than find someone that actually loves him? F*** that noise. Sorry, but when you’re already trying your best to be the best person you can be, what else can you do? How about some self-worth?

          • Antonio Craveiro

            Seems like you have a problem with criticism. You can either listen to criticism or ignore it. Only one of those will grow to be a better person. Choose which you want to be.

    • Pete

      Thanks Jason … keep up the strong attitude. All the rest seems like girls talk to me.

  • G

    Great post Marcus! One should always strive for self improvement and this is a great way!

    • Thanks G – I like your attitude :)

  • The timing of finding this article is kind of funny because something similar just happened to me. I had an amazing date with a woman that I clicked with on every possible level (mentally, physically, spiritually) and she was very excited about us before and after the date. Then the following weekend I got a text saying she had met someone else and wanted to pursue that instead of us. Not gonna lie, it was quite a blow because every indicator pointed towards this being a possible long term scenario. So I recently sent the Mirror Text and hope I get something constructive back. If there’s spinach in my teeth, I’m getting it out!

    • That’s a great attitude Waverunning Geek – you’ve got nothing to lose and a lot to gain. Keep me updated on how it turns out.

  • Jason

    Valuable and informative information… I just get started using Tinder. So far, I have couple matches, but none of them reply to my opener. This information helps me figure out what should I improve my skills. I will definitely use these Mirror Text to them right away. You are the best Marcus. Best luck for you!

    • Thanks Jason. With that approach you’ll go a long way, no matter where you’re starting. If you need help with anything feel free to shoot me an email : )

  • Pete

    Marcus ain’t no dude …

    • Hahaha oh my, this is true. I just read some of the responses by “Marcus.” It’s so obvious it’s a chick. This site proves the flaws in Google. You get these scam artists who are marketing aces and willing to use Blackhat methods to make a buck. Next, Marcus will sell the miracle cure for herpes. Stay tuned.

  • Wise

    I liked the milquetoast definition, which is new and it’s really what one can feel after getting too many few responses and loosing confidence, thanks for this insightful
    and helpful article 👍🏻

    • Thanks Wise.
      You’re right – being aware of what is actually happening can really boost your confidence, instead of being kept in the dark and losing confidence.


  • Sha Nevels

    I think this is really useful info, but I wanted to add that I think it would be best to not completely alter how you approach things based off of the reaction from one girl. I know you mentioned you’ve utilized this mirroring tactic often, but if one girl says she doesn’t like something specific, I don’t think you should necessarily change that one thing just because SHE didn’t like it.

    I understand the value of constructive criticism, but there also comes a point where you’re almost disingenuous if you’re always trying to mold yourself into how you think females want you to be. I’m just unabashedly myself. I’m willing to bend on some things, but if a female can’t appreciate my true essence, then she’s not the one for me. The right one will adore quirks or qualities that are specific to me.

    • Thanks for the comment Sha. I think you are 100% correct.

      This point you bring up is something that I could have emphasized more in the article.

      The mirror message is about awareness first and foremost. It’s about obtaining information, understanding yourself from the perspective of a woman, so you can then make a better informed decision as to what changes you should make to yourself or your approach (if any). It’s information to help you make your own decision, not a command you must follow.

      Thanks for pointing that out.

  • Carolina Venezian

    I’m a girl and I loved your article!! Great insights on the modern age dating!
    Do you think this would work the other way around? I mean it happens to me and I would love to know why a guy stops responding, if it was something I did… And I would love if women started writing articles like that about Tinder dating instead of the same Cosmo non sense!

    • Thanks for your comment Carolina.

      As I mentioned to Melissa in another comment, you would definitely be able to use this on guys to obtain feedback. If guy is actually worth getting to know, he’s very likely to give you an explanation as to what went wrong.

      But one of the most important things you’ll discover when using the mirror message is this: when things appear to have gone wrong, often it’s simply a mix up or there’s an innocent reason why a guy doesn’t respond to your messages. If this is the case, the mirror message will help clear the situation up immediately and often result in rekindling the flame. (This will be a huge confidence boost!)

      Check out Leon’s comment which is a perfect example of this.

      Try it, you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!



  • TheSheriff

    Very good article. Instead of another click bait article title it is very useful information. I’ve actually done this in the past before almost by accident but now I know it’s definitely a good idea to do it!

    • Thanks Sherriff. Yes it’s a great idea to make it a habit!


  • cutedaddy

    Very nicely done, this article. And of course it will work, who could deny asking for feedback has almost always turned out in their favour? Being yourself (who else could you be?) and being honest and upfront, especially about your doubts or weeknesses, almost always sparks sympathy in others.

    Reason i found this artcle was my search entry: “why tinder never replies to questions with a real response”. I entered it because after 10 weeks of tinder i haven’t got a single match. I have a decent profile, with decent pics, showing an OK person with a an OK real life. While i appreciate i’m not every lady’s dream, the probability of having no match at all after ten weeks of well behaved swiping (i swipe selectively and realistically) is indeed, mathematically speaking, extremely close to zero.

    The response i got form tinder was exactly the same, on two differently formulated questions. I needed to allow time (10 weeks is time, isn’t it?), update my profile regularly (is twice a week enough, what do you think?) and connect to my instagram profile (don’t have one, where did it say an instagram profile is mandatory for tinder users?)

    So, i’m more or less disappointed in Tinder, not because ladies don’t respond to messages or stand me up at dates (none of that has happened), but because there’s a technical, digital, algorythmical problem somewhere, and the only one who could shed some light on what it is, does not supply real responses to service-questions.

    Tinder is a genious concept (no contact until mutually agreed, no hurt feelings when swiping left), but it is perverted by its users (men swiping everything right) and worse, by its creators. Using the app as a genuine subscriber, like myself, often really sucks.

    Any tutorial on that? Could be even more interesting, to some..

    • Hi Cute daddy, I’m glad you liked the article. I’m not sure exactly what it is that you want a tutorial on though so perhaps you could explain that point a little more.


  • RM

    Dobra robota! In Polish.

  • Melissa

    I’m curious. Do you reckon girls would be able to use this on guys? How likely is it that a guy would “give you feedback”?

    • Hey Mel,

      Great question.

      You would definitely be able to use this on guys to obtain feedback. If guy is actually worth getting to know, he’s very likely to give you an explanation as to what went wrong.

      But one of the most important things you’ll discover when using the mirror message is this: a lot of the time things appear to have gone wrong, but really it’s just a mix up or an innocent reason why a guy doesn’t return your messages. If this is the case, the mirror message will help clear the situation up immediately

      Try it, you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose and EVERYTHING to gain!


  • MmmHmm

    I don’t know if you paid people to compliment your article or what, but the truth is, asking a girl for her opinion on you is pretty weak. In fact, flat-out asking in general is pretty unimaginative. Mirroring is good for sales, but when you’re talking about human beings to human beings it just sounds desperate. No, I don’t go on “20 dates a month.” Nor do I have any desire to do so. That’s ridiculous. There’s not enough time. I have other interests besides going on dates. And, frankly, it’s those interests that make me interesting to women. Love the clipart, though. Haven’t seen that in while.

  • Leon

    What a well written article and the best thing is it works, after reading it I sent a mirror message to a girl who I thought was perfect for me but had stopped messaging me. As it turns out she replied very quickly, never had any issue with me (as I was previously about) and actually enjoyed our conversations. She was going through something and thought it best to remove herself for the time being. The future is still bright, I would never have known if I hadn’t sent a mirror message! Thank you!

  • Dylan


  • Josh

    Hey Marcus. Great article! Ijust used this on a girl who never replied to my opener. I figured that it was something I said and got down on myself for that. Turns out I did nothing wrong and she just said it’s hard to keep track of all the messages she’s getting (not worth it). There’s this girl that I’m very interested in though and we’ve talked for a couple days now but the replies are very long. Couple hours, and it’s been a day now since the last reply. Honestly it kinda sucks. Should I wait a bit longer and say the mirror message? Or should I just say something clever. If she replies to the mirror message and says that nothing was wrong and she was just busy and she’s interested. Is this when I should bring up meeting sometime because I don’t want to strike out waiting to long. Please help

    • Hey Josh, apologies for the late reply.

      If you need some assistance feel free to email me and I’ll help you out.


  • pianodan marks

    And might I ask what you should do when no women reply to the mirror message?

    • Hey Pianodan, send me an email at marcus [@] and I’ll help you out.


      • pianodan marks

        You wont ever get a conversation, or a reply.Full stop……

  • This is a good technique for beginners. I used it in the past, but stopped years ago. All girls have different tastes and without a huge sample size, you can’t accurately quantify any data. Dwelling on any girl enough to send a long text or ask her what she thinks will end up wasting my time. Girls go in waves of levels of horniness. It’s important to catch them at their peaks. My methodology involves consistency and automation.

    For example, you caught the girl who was swamped 6 days a week at the wrong time. The mirror question can completely cut the tie. What I do is not respond if they say they can’t meet. Then when I ask again a few days later, sometimes they perk right up.

    It will ruin any chance I have by asking her for a comprehensive review, she’s not going to perk right up later. It makes me look weak, lost and pathetic if I have to ask her why she doesn’t like me. I don’t care how hot a girl is or if she likes me. There is an unlimited supply of girls out there. There will always be one who is down. It’s amazing how much more play a man can get when he stops giving a fuck.

    If girls aren’t attracted to you, then start hitting the gym and get on a healthy diet. Update your style, work on your communication skills, stop jerking it to porn, increase your T-levels, move out of your mom’s basement, start playing an instrument, learn how to surf the list goes on and on. No girl is going to give you any of this advice. Their responses will always be canned. Just my two cents because I use Tinder a lot, and my results speak for themselves.

    • pianodan marks

      Unfortunately none of that stuff works.Even being in perfect shape doesn’t get girls attracted to you if you dont have an attractive face, which is a genetic thing you cant change.And although there may be lots of girls out there, 95% of worthwhile ones are already partnered, and less than 1% of the remaining singles will ever respond to a average guy, irrespective of his approach.

  • pianodan marks

    The mirror message doesn’t seem to work.I can’t get any women to respond to it after 2 months of sending it.Online dating just doesn’t work.It is a waste of time alltogether.Thats my 2 cents.

    • The messages in this post are planted man. If you want to date online, the first thing you need to do is stay away from people writing SEO posts like these to sell a Clickbank quality product.

    • Hey Pianodan, as I said in another comment, feel free to send me an email at marcus [@] and I’ll help you out.


      • pianodan marks

        Yeah I sent messages there, but like all the women, you don’t reply.So I guess I will forget about dating.Waste of time in the modern era I’m afraid

  • Eric

    I sent this and got back “Oh sorry dude, I didn’t mean to be rude.” I don’t really know what to make of this.

  • SkyDancingleaf

    I really like the article. Well written and has a lot of great advice.

    But really, those message templates are just cringeworthy.

    “The flame of our conversation has burnt out”?
    “This Tinder fairy tale has come to an end”?

    I’m cringing out of my skin, dude.

    Here’s some self-improvement for you: You can talk normally to people. You don’t need some grandiose, melodramatic monologue to ask someone for constructive criticism.

    But like I said, besides that, very good article. I really liked it.

    • Thanks for your comments.

      Everyone has a different style. Feel free to alter the message (or completely rewrite it) in whatever way suits you.

      As you alluded to, the exact wording of the mirror message doesn’t really matter too much – it’s the spirit in which you convey they message that matters most. As long as it shows that you’re friendly, hold no grudges, and are genuinely interested in improving yourself, you can ask for feedback using whatever words you want.

      In saying that, the message templates you’re referring to were the best performing out of a variety of templates I’ve tested. My take is that by incorporating a little silliness it makes the message less intimidating and easier to reply to.

    • BuffoonDaddy

      If this guy uses “the miracle of the mirror message” one more time, I’m gonna vomit.
      You are underselling it calling it cringeworthy.

  • Grant Jean

    Wow…just…wow. This is the best article I’ve ever read about girls not replying back. Thanks a lot. To be honest, I used your advice and the girl messaged me back within 3mns! She actually didn’t message me back because she thought I was really interested into her but she’s wrong lol. You’re a life saver!

    • Well done Grant :) Isn’t it interesting how a simple misunderstanding can stop two people getting together even if they like each other? Good on you for not letting that happen.


    I have been on Tinder a few times but I find that nearly every profile is fake, has anyone one else had this experience or is it just my location in Ireland where the problem is, anyway I think that every profile on Tinder could do with SEO, and I came across this website well worth a look guys

  • Jerry Laart

    Thanks bro

  • raesha white

    👍🏽 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽💯💯💯I just tried this and immediately I got a response back! I was having a great conversation with this guy I was talking to on tinder, then out of no where he stops messaging me. I asked him why using the “mirror message” and the guy tells me it’s because he doesn’t get on this app much.

    Thanks for the help

    • Congratulations Raesha. I’m glad you could solve your mystery and open up your growing relationship again. Looking forward to how it turns out for you :)

  • BlueApple Courses

    Nice post

  • D-roc Jonathan

    That mirror message is gold! Used it for a girl who I fell out of touch with and she sent me a long message telling me how she was actually a bit disappointed that we couldn’t get to know each other more. She then said to let her know if I still want to get to know her. Mucho Gracias

    • Awesome Jonathan. Well done for having the courage to initiate contact again and exploring the situation. Looking forward to hearing how it turns out for you :)

  • BuffoonDaddy

    The reason, and the only reason, this message hack works is you are asking a female, and a stranger to you, for brutal honesty. A junkie takes free drugs and a lion eats meat. The only thing as true as ‘water is wet’ is a woman will pounce on the opportunity to give out solicited advice and opinions. Especially with the offer they can be as brutal as they want.

    No quicker way to become a misogynist than to use dating sites.

    The Anonymity of the internet encourages the worst of people. Just look at our current political discourse on social media sites such as Facebook.

    You must be a masochist to invite this into your life.

  • Stephen O’Connell

    well…….this was fucking retarded

  • Christophe Merlen


  • Stian Buhagen

    Hey! I thought this advice was golden and something I am going to use from here on out. Maybe you won’t reply to this message since it was written such a long time ago, but I’ll try. I matched with this woman on Monday and we had a nice chat. Yes probably some answers was too long, but each and everytime she answered almost at once. At the end of the conversation I asked if she wantes to talk some other time and she replied quickly. So then the next day I thought why not send her a message. And yes what I wrote was probably.boring and might be why she hasn’t responded yet. I asked: How was your day? This was last night and I haven’t gotten a reply. Now she might be busy and I am already to impatient,that might be what happened. But then my question becomes, should I wait a little and see if she responds, and if not send her a message tomorrow, something more exciting? Or wait a little and send the mirror message?

    • Hi Stian, it’s very possible that she’s just been busy and simply hasn’t opened Tinder and hasn’t seen your message. If she doesn’t reply in another day or two, you can send her a simple, friendly message that will prompt her to reply (in case she’s been overloaded with messages). Then, if she hasn’t replied to that message within the next week you could send the mirror message. But from what you say, it seems like she’s interested in you but has simply been busy so will reply back shortly. Let me know how you go :)

      • Stian Buhagen

        Thanks for the reply. Yes it seems like she’s interested. I sent her a couple of funny The Office gifs, because I know she likes the show. So we’ll see if she replies. If I don’t hear from here before Monday next week I will try the mirror message. Will let you know how it goes :-)